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Six things I wish I’d never done (a mix of depth and shallows):

waited until I was 29 to start learning that being scared is not enough of a reason not to do something.
mocked KM in the playground that time. I must have been 11 years old, and I’m still ashamed.
believed things because I felt them to be true, instead of knowing them to be true.
misrepresented Christianity, even inadvertently.
gained unnecessary weight.
felt there was a legitimate need for me to be a bossy big sister.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:

If this was a story…
Um, how could I have said that to them? How could I have said it at all? Why do I even talk?
Thank You, God.
What if…
I need to stop thinking. Now.
How are they so cute that my heart hurts?
DINNER.

Eight ways to win my heart:

(a random and by no means exhaustive list)

live the gospel
be the same person when talking to the hot chick or the granny
believe in hospitality
appreciate families and make time for little kids
be friendly, frank, and reliable
possess a genuine, generous smile
be well-read and a self-educator
hold strong opinions but listen to those of others, too

non-compulsory bonus: look like Gregory Peck

Nine things about myself:

I get excited about going to the library or Borders the way some people get excited about going to Dreamworld.
I am pulled more strongly towards civilisation than towards nature. Structures, records, ephemera, and ruins drag me in and I get more excited about them than I do about rocks and mountains and waterfalls (though they are wondrous, too). I think it’s because these things, left behind accidentally by man or purposefully created to endure for multiple lifetimes, tell so many stories. They are history, in concrete form.
It’s probably a good thing I’m not married yet, because at the moment I love strange hippie names for children. For now, I work those names out of my system by giving them to current characters in my fiction.
Although I am not really a fan of fur (my ideal pet was — until last year, when I killed both — either a cactus or a goldfish), when I was fifteen, I had a pet rat. I called it Mrs. Frisby. It’s now a part of my history that embarrasses me.
There is a box under my bed filled with over twenty-five of my journals. There are sporadic ones from age eight but it really started when I was fourteen and I got serious about writing frequently and elaborately decorating the blank pages of these beautiful books. I wish I was still like that.
I didn’t get my open driver’s licence till I was about 25. I just hated driving that much (seriously, the law lets me on the road? with my lack of knowledge?) Now, I actually sometimes enjoy driving, and this weirds me out.
My personal library contains about four thousand books.
I’ve considered being a foster care parent (I’m just not in a position to do so currently).
With possible exception of a couple of the earlier destinations that are lost on me, I’ve lived in: Gosford NSW; Elliot Cl Singleton NSW; York St Singleton NSW; Church St Singleton NSW; New England Hwy Whittingham NSW; Korra St Lithgow NSW; Tamarind Ave Nhulunbuy NT; [can’t remember] Bowen QLD; New England Hwy Whittingham NSW; Balmoral Pl Mandurah WA; and now I live south of Brisbane, QLD and likely this won’t be permanent. It’s a crazy, crazy life.

[image]

When it comes to relationships --
And I don't mean just with girls
(I mean with everyone) --
Your illustrations always point out just what's wrong with me.
It's chapstick and chapped lips and things like chemistry.

[Relient K]

Ten things I want to say to ten different people right now:

You are probably the world’s most patient person, and I’m constantly amazed by your grace. Thank you for being in my life in a huge way, even when we can’t be in proximity to each other.
I wonder if you’ve ever really looked at your actions and tried to see how they come across. I can’t tell if you’re genuine and clueless, or if you’re simply a major player and merrily milking this for all it’s worth. Regardless, I want you to press the pause button and actually think about what this all means. You’re not fourteen anymore. Please be a man.
When I first met you, I felt that kindred spirit click, the one that says we are bound to get along. But three years have gone by and we keep narrowly missing each other, almost being friends but never quite getting there. I kind of don’t mind any more — obviously that’s just how it’s going to be. But it weirds me out that it’s like this and — what’s worse — it’s actually kind of awkward now. That’s not at all how I thought it would go.
What on earth have you been doing all this time?
Our friendship had the funniest beginning and — several years down the track — I still get surprised at the unexpected amazingness of it. Who knew that we would share so much in common and yet be so entertained by our differences? Who could have suspected that the nervous first meeting would so quickly fade into oblivion, replaced instead by serious girl-friendship, complete with deep reflections on life and faith, and far too many inappropriate remarks? I’m happy.
It’s hard for me to take you seriously when you sigh about not being married. I know about ten girls who could have been so right for you. But you seem to be looking for the Proverbs 31 woman Barbie, and I don’t think she exists.
I know I say it to you a lot, but I can’t properly express how restful it is to have known you all these years, to have had a history with you, to be able to be with you without explaining everything, to sit silently with you and not feel awkward. I appreciate that so much that I tend to gush about it. Sorry.
I wish I could challenge you about how much you hurt someone I care about, and I wish I could make sure you never do it again. Instead, when I see you, I have to pretend like nothing ever happened.
Why did you go back on everything you once preached? You seem to me to be a lot sadder than you ever were before. It’s like I can see the desperation underneath your frantic, whirling-dervish life.
Thank you for making motherhood seem like the excellent, rollicking adventure it really is. You make me want to have kids sooner rather than later.

I've been noticeably silent here at Dreamwidth, and obviously fallible when it comes to meme challenges, but inspired by cygne, I’m going to do this — starting tonight, hopefully.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot.
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

(crosspost from my tumblr account)

Sam Seaborn: How you doing, Bernie?
Bernice Collette, OMB: I'm not wild about people calling me Bernie.
Sam Seaborn: What should I call you?
Bernice Collette, OMB: Bernice is fine.
Sam Seaborn: But how will you know I'm your buddy?
Bernice Collette, OMB: I'm okay living in the dark on that.

The West Wing, episode 3.08

Want to make a positive difference in the world? Do you have a stamp, an envelope and five minutes to spare? Well then please help me send sunshine to someone who is in desperate need of it.

Kathryn is a wonderful woman who helped raise me and inspire me to be the person I am today. I know a lot of people describe those that they love to be incredibly loving, warm, big-hearted, good natured, and just all around wonderful, but it has never been truer than with Kathryn. She brings a smile to the face of everyone she meets. She has been a friend to my family for as long as I can remember and has helped us through tough times. She’s supported her community through her church and by offering her smile and heart to strangers.

Though she has always been kind to others, life hasn’t been kind to her. Right now she’s fighting off inoperable pancreatic cancer, infections and a multitude of other medical problems I can’t comprehend. Kathryn has fought it all long and hard. She told my grandmother once that she could sit around and be sorry for herself or she could go out and live each day with a zest and fervor for life and she’s done that. She has continued to be a positive force in the world for others.

But lately her sickness has worked it’s ways on her and Kathryn is lacking in hope. When my grandmother talked to her a day or so ago she sounded worn down and like she was giving up.

This is where you come in. Kathryn loves receiving mail. Whenever I send her a letter she always writes back and tells me how excited she was to hear from me. It puts a metaphorical spring in her step.

Please write a letter to Kathryn. It doesn’t have to be long, just a note telling her that you’re thinking of her, that you hope she’s feeling better, that you’re praying for her, that you support her—anything. I want her to feel kindness from the strangers she’s helped, I want her to receive all of the love that she put out into the world.

Please help. It will take five minutes of your time. Email me at askrhiannon@gmail.com for her address.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Maybe think about sending a postcard?

Um, hi. It's been quite some time.

Since I last chimed in:

my sister married her smiling boy on a sparkling winter afternoon;
I've adjusted to living on my own for the first time ever;
uni break welcomed me into its lazy open arms;
my days have been full of friend catch-ups, reading, and busyness;
I discovered I do like sushi;
Josh Harris' Dug Down Deep and William Zinsser's On Writing Well have been keeping me company;
five more grey hairs discovered (but I'm young!);
I've realised I'm scared to write because I seem to have forgotten what I most cared about saying.

Here's to taking courage, to fresh starts, and to family -- even when they're far away.

Wedding pictures by Dee.

This is so much my brain just now that it's both hilarious and scary.
(feel free to point me to the original source of this comic, if you know it.)

BRB. Just helping my sister get married on the weekend, hugging a trillion excellent people, and finishing four essays and one exam -- all in the next eight days.

Don't you wish you could really, actually, make this sink in?

This is quite possibly the most amazing engagement photoshoot I've ever beheld.
More Up-inspired photographic goodness by Wildflowers Photography here.

*hearts*

Eternally late to the party, I am (just now taking a break from analysing Christina Rossetti's poetry and instead) formulating -- sketching out? -- some thoughts about why I'm here at Dreamwidth.

Unlike a lot of DWers, I still find a happy online home at LiveJournal. I wasn't over there in the early, early days -- I think I joined about 2003? -- and I've never been involved in fandoms or fic or anything major to make a song and dance about. That means that, for me, LiveJournal was always about the community of friends I had there. Therefore, I haven't been hurt by any of the dramas swirling around at LiveJournal. In fact, the only thing that really got under my skin was the switch from basic unpaid accounts to ad-supported ones. LiveJournal had appealed to me just because it was clean and ad-free.

Nevertheless, I'm still there, and I have some very real, very true friends among my contacts over there. However, over the years, my involvement at LJ has switched from random social network-style blogging to actual, sincere journalling. For some time now I've had a locked journal there. When I write, it feels like I'm writing a personal letter to a group of fifty or sixty trusted friends. I write about whatever I want and I'm not necessarily looking for new friends. And it's probably a good thing, because although it may be just me, I feel like LiveJournal is changing. It's not the busy, bustling hub it used to be.

That's why, to me, Dreamwidth feels like a whole different ballgame. Apart from the fact that it's exciting to be part of a journalling community in its earlier stages (plus: all the excellent usernames haven't been snavelled yet!), it also holds the vibe that LJ once had. People are sharing publicly, linking to valuable resources, exchanging, dialoguing, and aren't stuck in a rut. There's a lot more openness of content and a lot more idea-generating going on around here because people are looking to build on the basics. Plus, it's generous; free accounts, no disgusting ads, and lots of giving and receiving.

That's fun for me, and definitely appealing. While I remain a dyed-in-the-wool-LJer, I'm happy to be exploring Dreamwidth and meeting new people along the way. I think my posts here will reflect that.

----------

Hmm, that was a surprisingly serious-sounding post about a fairly non-serious subject from a fairly non-serious girl. And especially dedicated to you,

katiefoolery, who asked long ages ago what I'm using Dreamwidth for, and why.

three_weeks_for_dw was an absolutely fabulous festival of posting and sharing, but I completely failed to be a part of it. It's three weeks till my sister's wedding and four weeks until the end of semester, which makes me feel just a little bit snowed under -- even though, yes, I'm in Queensland and if it ever actually did snow, we'd likely think it was the apocalypse. I feel disappointed to have missed out on all the joy, but the goal was to give Dreamwidth a boost of enthusiasm and interaction; it certainly did that, so for now I guess I'll just pop in when I can and appreciate the new communities and journals 3W4DW put me in touch with.

Since my life revolves mostly entirely around wedding and school at the moment, a list of randomness, in no particular order:

[001] Last night I stumbled across these adorable shoes, in an incredibly happy bright orange, for $9.99. Not only are they super comfy, but they make me smile just looking at them.

[002] One of my friends linked to this post which discusses the Jewish origins of the Vulcan Salute. Agree or not, it's worth a read, and it definitely makes the old live-long-and-prosper seem even cooler.

[003] The fictional love letters meme is happening joyfully over at LiveJournal. I got a love poem from Keats! ♥

[004] My mum and littlest brother are back in town preparatory to my sister's wedding, and tonight we are going out for Thai. Yay! Last time I had fish with tamarind sauce -- something along these lines, though not a whole fish, thank goodness -- and it was so delicious that I feel inclined to be boring and order exactly the same thing again.

[005] This week's mail brought Salinger's Franny and Zooey and Niffenegger's The Time Traveller's Wife. Both are required reading for school and I just love that I have to make time for reading them. It means I have to force myself to take time out from work, sit on the couch, and jump into another world. It's a good thing.

fannish5 : Name 5 characters you think would have a good time hanging out with you and your friends - in your world, not theirs.

1. Samantha Stewart from Foyle's War, because she's full of chirpyness and a happy amount of joyful awkwardness.
2. Sam Seaborn from The West Wing, because we could talk about writing and he wouldn't be at all condescending.
3. Toby Ziegler from The West Wing, because he would say snarky, morose things and I would realise that even gloominess can be funny.*
4. Jo March from Little Women because... of course.
5. Juliet Ashton from The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. We could have a letter-writing party followed by hot tea and scones, and I think we could probably go exploring some used bookstores together.

*Hey, why don't I just invite everyone from Sorkin's oval office round for a party?

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Nope.
02) What was your dream growing up? To write and illustrate books -- and also be a teacher.
03) What talent do you wish you had? The ability to make sparkling conversation.
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? Lemon, lime, and bitters.
05) Favorite vegetable? Potatoes for the win!
06) What was the last book you read? March, by Geraldine Brooks.
07) What zodiac sign are you? Leo, but I couldn't care less.
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where. Ear lobes, one piercing in each.
09) Worst habit? Overthinking.
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? If you're my friend...
11) What is your favorite sport? Backyard soccer.
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude? Probably more pessimistic (I used to be Pollyanna; what happened?)
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Sing leprechaun songs and play hand-clapping games.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? People I care about being hurt by others.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. I eat my M&Ms by colour.
16) Do you have any pets? Not anymore. RIP, Sunny the Goldfish.
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? I'd try to roll with it, talk lots, and make you cocoa.
18) What was your first impression of me? WHO ARE YOU?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Just weird.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd be gorgeous, in a natural kind of way.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Conscience.
22) What color eyes do you have? Hazel.
23) Ever been arrested? No.
24) Bottle or can soda? Bottles -- because it tastes better and saved bottles make awesome candlestands.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? Some wedding gift shopping and then save-o-rama.
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at? amazing bookstores, plus the Queensland Art Gallery and GoMA, both at Southbank.
27) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, but not in the boo I'm Casper kind of way. More in the creepy little demon kind of way.
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Catch up with loved ones, read books somewhere near the water, and watch movies.
29) Do you swear a lot? Nup.
30) Biggest pet peeve? Meaning something small but intensely annoying? Your/You're. Learn the difference.
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Dorky.
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Yes. But I don't think it's always what we think it is.
33) Favourite and least favourite food? Currently, McDonald's crispy chicken snack wrap and cooked tomato.
34) Do you believe in God? Absolutely.

Now, let's make this meme a youyou.

My DW reading page is bursting with entries to be read and commented upon. Therefore, I decree that tomorrow shall be free of madness for a little while so I can do just that.

I've been trying to get back here to post for some days.

My little 30 in 30 meme has fallen by the wayside (but will be resumed). However, each evening, when I even think about approaching a journal entry, I realise I am rather worn out of words. This semester of uni I have my heaviest reading load ever. Quite apart from textbooks (of which there are many, and large ones), I'm also required to read about seven novels. At the moment, I'm juggling Geraldine Brooks' March, Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights, and Flannery O'Connor's A Good Man is Hard to Find. I am relishing them all, only I wish I had a little more time for the relishing. I wish I could read them slowly and give each work the respect and appreciation and sincere, thoughtful mulling it deserves. Because I have a sinking feeling that, with so many wondrous books in the world, I will not go back and give these ones a second going-over -- and they really should have a second going-over. There are many good things about tertiary education, but one of the worst is how much must be crammed into each semester.

Completely unrelatedly, here is a West Wing season 3 picspam which will have you launching an instant rewatch.

I said early on that I don't declare absolute favourites, but I might have to recant: I do believe The West Wing is probably the greatest television show ever made. A program centred entirely around the daily ins and outs of White House politics would, in the hands of most screenwriters and producers, likely result in a sure-fire cure for insomnia, but somehow Aaron Sorkin (and everybody else involved) manages to not just make it work, but make it great.

The characters are rich and multi-dimensional, the plot lines are compelling, the relationships and challenges are real, and the dialogue -- the dialogue is the very best bit: snappy, smart, and sparkling with wit. Someone called it the most literate show on television, and I agree. I feel sure that if I just made time to watch one episode of The West Wing each morning, I'd be charming, scintillating, and intelligent throughout my days. It's classic stuff.

Oh, and thanks to this show, I know more about American politics than I do about Australian. Yep.

( A few clips because, well, how could I not? )

It would probably be far cooler of me to recommend a wildly intelligent, little-known indie film, but I can't help it: Master and Commander is right up there at the top of my favourites list, having been watched and re-watched more times than I care to add up.

It's everything I like in a film -- beautiful cinematography, rich historical detail, a glorious soundtrack, epic adventure, and a buddy relationship tested by genuine challenges.

If that isn't enough to impress you, perhaps I should mention that it stars Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany, two of my favourite male actors. Watch this movie. Just watch it.

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